Before the “Horror”
Before all the drama started, we honestly thought she was pretty good. She was experienced, knew how to handle babies, and her cooking was decent. For the first 2 days, we actually felt relieved, like, “Okay lah, maybe we got a solid nanny.”
But after settling in, we slowly started noticing a lot of things. Not things like “she doesn’t know what she’s doing”… but more like she was just lazy and couldn’t be bothered unless it suited her mood.
And the attitude… wah, that one came out fast.
The side comments, the complaints, the tone, all creeping in bit by bit.
And that’s when everything started going downhill.
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1 – Midnight Drama
Night feeds were honestly the most stressful part. She would hold the baby… then fall asleep while feeding. Bottle dropped, no burping, rushing through so she could go back to sleep.
And one night, this one really shocked us. We saw on the CCTV her head literally dropping forward and pressing onto my 1-week-old baby’s head. A newborn so tiny… and she still fell asleep on top of him. HELLO, your head how heavy vs a newborn?
Because of this, for the first 2 weeks after my C-section, when I was supposed to be resting, I had to wake up for every single feed, sit beside her, and literally talk to her just to keep her awake. Imagine recovering from surgery yet having to babysit the person who’s supposed to help you.
When we confronted her multiple times, her reply?
“It’s normal one.”
Is it? At that point, I didn’t know what was more unbelievable, the danger, or the confidence behind that sentence.
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2 – Breastmilk Saga
One of the first things that made me 🤦♀️
I told her clearly: “Please warm the breastmilk using the milk warmer. 38°C. Not higher.”
First, she kept avoiding the milk warmer and instead dipped bottles in hot water, saying it was “easier.” 🙄
Then, when she finally used the warmer, she heated the milk to 45°C because “not hot enough.” HELLO?? Nutritional value all gone lah. Luckily I saw the temperature in time to stop her.
And as if that wasn’t enough… she spilled my precious breastmilk a few times. At this rate… probably 500ml gone 😩😡
After insisting multiple times, she finally followed the proper instructions… but by then, my patience was running as low as the milk in the bottle 😭
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3 – Salary Complaints
Then suddenly, every day she kept reminding me she’s “underpaid,” “night duty very tiring,” and how her skillset is “very hard to learn.” “It’s a tough job, you know.”
But this is a $4k+ salary job + all expenses covered, and she’s not part of an agency, so it’s 100% take-home. Every day became a TED Talk about how tough her life is 🙄
Eh, my job also very tough leh.
She also kept bragging about how high in demand she is, like everyone, even in Europe and Australia, is lining up to hire her.
And the random ad-hoc requests… wah.
She once asked us to buy her coffee. My house already had 3-in-1 coffee. Her coffee? $1 per sachet. 15 sachets = $15 for her “premium” coffee. And she insisted we buy it because “all moms buy this for her.”
We gave in, hoping she’d drink more and stay awake during night feeds. HELLO… you still slept through half the night feeds 🙄
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4 – Phone Addict
I fully understand that taking care of a newborn can be boring. But the constant phone use… scrolling, scrolling, scrolling 😊
I don’t need her to be 100% “no phone,” but at least when feeding or carrying the baby… put the phone down? Is that too much to ask?
And the worst part? When the baby was finally sleeping at night, the TikTok sounds from her phone didn’t stop. Non-stop! 😳
Honestly… you keep scrolling and skip naps during the day, that’s why you sleep through half the night duty lah 😴
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5 – “I promise to teach your helper”
She came with this big promise: “I will teach your helper everything, feeding, burping, showering. Don’t worry.”
It was even written clearly over WhatsApp as part of the expectation.
Since she could take care of the baby, I trusted her to correct the helper whenever mistakes happened. So we let the helper understudy her for over a week, and we even reduced the helper’s house chores so she could fully focus on learning.
Then last night, I happened to monitor a feed…
The helper fed the baby, didn’t burp, and held the baby in a super awkward position.
And the nanny? Just sitting there watching. Didn’t correct anything. Didn’t say a word.
Baby ended up vomiting all 100ml of milk. 😨
And on top of that… she constantly complained about the helper to me, “She doesn’t take initiative, attitude blah blah.”
Excuse me, you’re the one with the attitude lah.
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6 – Toxicity
And then came the part that honestly drained me more than the night feeds, the toxic behaviour.
The constant negativity. The passive-aggressive comments.
Out of nowhere she’d drop lines like, “You are not very good at taking care of baby lah…” and the way she said it… you could just tell she wanted us to feel lost so she could extend her stay.
And the gossiping… wah. Every single day she had something to say about the helper:
“Your helper very blur,” “Your helper got attitude,” “Your helper this, your helper that…”
Nonstop. Like she needed someone to look down on.
Meanwhile, she was getting lazier by the day.
Anything she could push to the helper, she pushed.
Anything she could avoid, she avoided.
She didn’t even wake up for night feeds or diaper changes on the final week, just continued sleeping like it wasn’t her job, and let the helper run around settling everything.
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Anyway… she’s gone now.
My milk supply can finally breathe.
My CCTV can rest.
And my baby? Sleeping peacefully, without a head landing on him.
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If you’re a new mom reading this, please know…
You are not the problem.
Your instincts matter.
Your voice matters.
And you deserve real support, not a “horror nanny” adding more stress to an overwhelming season.
