Feedback for nanny candy
Cons
1. Can come across as controlling, demanding, territorial, and straightforward (sometimes borderline rude).
>> She gets comfortable very quickly and talks like she's ordering you around. Thats just her personality. There was once she cooked noodles and my husband walked into the kitchen to take vinegar and she raised her voice and said "no you don't take! You try my food first! Not enough then add". We were really taken aback.
>> Another time, end of 1st week, my husband wanted to try to feed the baby and she went "you want to feed the baby? No no no! Still too early" It felt like she was controlling our access to baby at times.
2. When we ask her questions as clueless 1st time parents with the sole intention of learning, like "how much milk did baby drink for his last feed" or "how much BM to FM ratio to feed him?" she shared that she felt like we were questioning her or doubting her work. It was tough to ask her things subsequently as we were afraid she might take it to mean we didn't trust her. Having to tiptoe around her made the confinement experience quite unpleasant.
3. She is not very good at adapting and accommodating to different family's style and preferences, as well as different mother's needs.
>> There's no one size fits all for confinement. Some mummies can take the heaty food she makes, some mummies cannot. I happen to have a heaty constitution so i had sore throat and felt unwell within the 1st week of eating her food. I feedback to her to reduce heaty ingredients temporarily but her reaction was to tell me the problem didnt lie with her food and that it was my body. Even told me to do TCM to tune my body. I know she meant well, but it can make mummies feel like it's their fault for how their body is. No one chooses to have a heaty constitution. What would be good was if she could focus on what can be changed instead - like the ingredients she used. And not keep harping on what cant be changed - like mummy's constitution at that pt in time.
4. Things have to be done her way. She told us "this 28 days u follow my schedule! You don't give me schedule to follow". To clarify, we didn't give her any schedule to follow.
5. Not sensitive in reading the room. EQ not the highest. She's definitely not the kind of nanny that thinks before she speaks.
>>For eg, she made unhelpful and insensitive comments like "Mummy not enough milk thats why need to top up with formula" >> can make mummies feel demoralised and it is quite discouraging for their breastfeeding journey (esp since mummies are so new to this + it may take awhile for supply to kick in/build up).
6. When feedback is given to her/info is shared with her, her initial reaction is always one of defensiveness. She takes things quite personally too.
>> For eg, when we noticed she didn't dry the dishes before keeping them in the drawer, we dried it ourselves and feedback to her to dry it before keeping otherwise the wood in the drawer might spoil. She told us "don't dry the bowls infront of me! I don't like it. This is my job."
>> Another time we came back from the PD and the dr shared not to mix BM and FM. I shared this info with her as it was something i didnt know. Before i could complete my sharing, she snapped and said "who tell you i mix?! You got see me mix?!" And mumbled something nasty in cantonese.
7. Her command of English isn't strong and she likes to speak in cantonese. While we could understand abit, it could have been a breeding ground for misunderstandings and frustration. There were a few times we didnt understand what she meant and she had to explain again and again.
Pros
- holds herself to high standards of work when it comes to cooking and taking care of the baby; dutiful
- Recommends products that are good for baby
Honestly she does her core work well. EQ aside, her work is objectively good. So if you're a mother with low needs when it comes to sensitivity (ie can ignore her occasional curt comments and bossy attitude), can consider her!
That said, the above is a personal experience. Everyone will have a different experience even with the exact same nanny!
Note: we had to terminate her 12 days in due to the unpleasant experience. We chose not to have a replacement nanny.
